February 2, 2009

MLP : Please Rest In Peace




The mid term break was over.
10 days I was in my hometown.
Spending my break - completed some assignments and of course I can't mumbled about that.
It's about responsibility that I hold anyway.
It's quite enjoyable and sad as well.

Sad in term of I felt a bit lonely.
I'm not really sure what I'm lonely of - maybe I get used with blogging world and I found it's a bit lonely without you guys.
Maybe I lost my Sun - that brightened my life before.

My Sun…who kept me warmth before.
Who make me woke up with smile every morning.
Who make me slept in smile every night.



During the break, I was thinking about myself.
Do I want to just stuck at one point and don't want to move anyway?
Am I just a pathetic person who put my hope, faith and love in someone else?

Nope.
I don't want those things happened to me again.
I'm tired of been sympathized by people around me.
I hate myself for being such a coward person.
I hate myself because I'm feeble - a weakling.

I woke up in the middle of the night and gave a thought to myself.
If I don't love myself, who else will do that for me?
After performed a night prayer, I was sitting on the bed and assessed myself.

It's been 6 years since my last time wore the school uniform.
It's been 5 years since I stepped into the matriculation hall.
It's been 4 years since I stepped into the campus life.
It's been a long time and here I am today.

When I looked back to my own life memories, I realized that I've changed.
Yeah, of course anyone will changed within the time.
I'm one of them.



The changes whether it's something good or bad - it's indicated who I am today.
The same trait that I brought from my past - the changed me - people around me who felt it.
They said that I'm changed.
Maybe.

But something for sure, my past was cried once she saw the present me.
She will be totally cry.
I turned to a very weak person.
A frail girl.

Only one word that I can say to myself, SORRY.
I can't forgive myself for being too feeble.
I can't help myself from being stupid.
I'm really sorry.

I love myself - more than anyone can do for me.
I must moved on.
I missed my jovial smile - whether it's not as bright as anyone else.
I missed the zealous Zara - who always have great energy.
Zara - the enthusiastic person.



It's hard for me to decide on this but this time I want to let MLP go.
I want to let MLP go from my life - it's something intense, stiff but I must do it.
MLP is Rest In Peace now.
MLP already depart this life.
MLP should be gone not only by the wind but with any matters

I was crying after I make my mind on this.
But, it's not the tears of been hurt anymore.
It's the tears of tough person.
I want to be a stalwart lady.

You've been kissed and hugs with Zara's Love!

16 사랑해 Kisses From You:

Princess Liyana said...

Dear, i hope you'll be the person you wanted to be...chayo2 dear!

remember, life must go on..and you
re the one who decide..to be happy or not to be happy;)

Pali said...

go ahead! full speed and don't turning back!

you can do it tengik! ;p

Nadine said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
en_me said...

hi cek zara tewww.. nice words u have..

en_me said...

hi cek zara tewww.. nice words u have..

ZARA 札拉 [사랑해~] said...

Princess Liyana:

Thanks a lot darling.
I just hope that I can...

ZARA 札拉 [사랑해~] said...

Pali :

Thanks busuk...

Wah3~

Last2 sempat kau panggil aku tengik.

ZARA 札拉 [사랑해~] said...

Nadine:

Thanks a lot Aunt.
I need the courage right now...

ZARA 札拉 [사랑해~] said...

en_me :

Thanks a lot en me...

ZARA 札拉 [사랑해~] said...

en_me :

hehehe~

Nadine said...

i had once gone thru this situation,learn to block off yr mind from it.i'll helps a lot.i believe you'll be able to get over it though it hurts badly when the memories hits at times...

ZARA 札拉 [사랑해~] said...

Nadine:

Thanks a lot Aunt. Whether it's almost 2 years I tried to forget those memories, I'm too weak to overcome it. But this time, I know, there's no turning back.

Monkey D Luffy said...

mcm tu ler... setiap pengalaman ada pengajaran... dan cuba tingkatkan diri dr pengalaman tersebut

ZARA 札拉 [사랑해~] said...

Monkey D Luffy :

Baik kapten!

_neo_ said...

its just so mysterious of you zara,
i wonder y you have to hide your tru feelings,what happen to you syg?

always remember that you r not alone, u got family, frens, and the most important is, we all got Allah who always care for us.

muahx,

love, neo

ZARA 札拉 [사랑해~] said...

_neo_ :

Neo darling....

Am I too mysterious?
I don't know.

I just felt empty somewhere.
It's just I'm not pretty sure who I am now...

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